Submitted on 2010/07/11 at 6:09 am

“My Son Passed Away”

Hi Monica,

After my son died, I had a reading looking for closure, comfort, answers. She said my long dead dad was there for my son to guide him over. Great!

But how was my dad there at the scene, at the exact time? Are we being watched over by deceased relatives?

I would love to think my son is working behind the scenes for his surviving sister Death of the young sucks. My bro was 28 when he died.

William

Hello William,

‘Death of the young sucks’ indeed.I believe we are watched over by deceased relatives. My grandmother comes to me infrequently, and it’s always a warm breath of comfort when she does. I cherish those dreams.

Time and the ‘all knowing’ of something can sometimes be challenging for us to wrap our minds around and fully understand. Time on the ‘Other Side’ doesn’t seem to work in quite the same linear fashion as we in the waking reality here perceive it. We tend to see time as a train track, with point A at the start and point B towards the end, or ‘in the future’.

Quantum Mechanics can shed some light and new perspective on this, however it can become more confusing the more you learn…lol.

For example, Sylvia Browne talks about her experience when her father passed, and being Psychic didn’t seem to help her one bit when it came to connecting with her father after he’d passed. When she finally did ‘hear’ from him, what she thought was months, to him had seemed like mere moments.

If you’ve ever experienced a second in time, where you had an overwhelming feeling that you actually ‘got it’…an epiphany if you will, a momentary state of bliss where everything seemed to be connected, make sense, and have order…then you may understand the concept that everything…. everything …is ‘now’. Eckhart Tolle’s books  ‘The Power of Now’ and ‘ A New Earth’ relays this quite nicely.

With this concept of time, now, and connectedness, it offers a possible  explanation of how your father was able to be there for your son to guide him over.

As for your son watching over your daughter, absolutely. We may just not recognize in what ways that might be. We may not be aware of something we don’t put our ‘focus’ on, however that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.I can’t imagine the challenges you’ve faced losing your father, brother, and son. My heart goes out to you.

You may choose to check into authors like  Wayne Dyer and  Eckhart Tolle for their perspective on this topic as well.

Thank you for writing in, and I hope this helps,

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2010/11/05 at 11:46 am

My mother just died after a long illness but was unprepared for her death.

That night I had an awful nightmare that she was terrified and confused and was in the morgue’s freezer with her body.

How can I help her?

Can you help her, or recommend someone like you who can?

Thank you.

Hello There,

First of all, let me say condolences on your Mother’s passing.

My experiences come to me, as in people in distress or lost/traumatized souls find me during my dreams.

I will however, send out intentions and prayers for your Mother. 🙂

Most often, people closest to us will reach us through visitations. You, can help your Mother, by setting intentions each nite before going to sleep. Just setting forth your intention, and sending love, can make a difference. You can do this throughout the day in your thoughts as well.

Seeing your Mother in your dream the way you did could also be a result/influenced by your fears and awareness of her ‘unpreparedness’.

It has been my experience, that no one dies alone. Your Mother would have been in the presence of another ‘Fringe Dweller’, or ‘Dream Walker’ as some are called, Angel, Guardian, Loved one or Light Being of some nature.

If you have another dream with her, do your best not to have any associations of fear, and send only Love. Cherish the Visitation. More often than not, just being in a calm presence/energy/environment is all that’s needed for someone to match that energetic frequency, recognize what has transpired, and be ready to ‘move on’ in a loving and accepting manner.

Your Mother has most likely moved on and ‘returned to Love’, the place we all came from. She has the wonderful opportunity to meet with friends and loved ones also passed, go to school, teach….there is so much available on the ‘Other Side’.

Sylvia Browne and John Edward both have insightful books on Loved Ones’ passing, that may shed further light on the subject.

I hope this was helpful.

My heart goes out to you at this time,

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Grieving is a hard process to negotiate even if you do believe in Reincarnation.  Even if you do believe in Spirit Guides, Visitations, Fringe Dwellers and the After life. Grieving can take a hell of a lot out of you. In my life I’ve said goodbye to all my grandparents, parents, god parents and my oldest childhood friend.  That’s a whole lotta grieving.

I think its natural for people to want to make contact with their loved ones on the Other Side.  We know we’ll be reunited ‘one day’ but meanwhile we’d still like the occasional visit, the check in, just to say ‘hey’,  just to let us know they’re alright.

I was fortunate to have had the relationship I did with my Mother.  We were as contrary as two people could be.  If she said black I’d say white.  If she said she couldn’t, I’d say she could if only she would choose to. We were opposite ends of the same pole. We fought as only a mother and daughter can, but in the end, at the end of the day we knew we loved each other.

I remember once going to visit her and about 3 hours into our weekend turning to her and saying, “You drive me nuts. You will understand if I tell you that I love you like crazy and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, but I can only handle being around you for about an hour before going stark raving mad!”  Luckily she laughed, and responded that she understood, because she felt exactly the same way.  We had an odd relationship my Mother and I, but I never doubted her love for me or vice verse.

When Mom was diagnosed with multiple Myeloma she was told by her oncologist that this form of cancer was so rare she stood a better chance of winning a lottery than having this disease.  As was Mom’s custom to think negatively she said, “That’s my luck, my lottery.  If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have none at all.”   Of course the movie ‘The Secret’ wasn’t out yet and any talk of ‘creating your reality’ was not a topic I could broach with her. When I tried we fought.  It was MY life lesson to learn to let go.  To let go trying to save her from her negative thinking and just ‘be’ with her as she went through this difficult time in her life.  Letting someone ‘have at’ their negativity is a particularly tough one for me to swallow as I’m a fighter and don’t do victim third Chakra issues.  Playing the victim has always rubbed me the wrong way which is precisely the reason I reincarnated as this woman’s child no doubt (lol).  Nonetheless, I loved her fiercely and it was one of the hardest things I will ever do to have simply been present, and bare witness over the last ten weeks of her life.  Her mind slipped away as the toxins filled her body and the morphine barely kept the pain at bay.  She eventually elapsed into her first tongue as a French Canadian. That is when she would speak at all.

There were moments of lucidity.

One of those precious moments I made sure to ask her to do something for me.  I asked her to promise to pay me a visitation after she passed just to let me know that where ever she was, she was ok.

A promise is not something she would give she said, as she didn’t know what waited for her on the Other Side, and so she didn’t want to promise something she didn’t know if she could deliver on.  She had always been a woman of her word, and since she did not give it lightly she would not do so now.  However, with a little grin and mischief in her eyes she did say that we all knew how stubborn she was, and if there was a way, she would find it.

My Mother passed two days before her birthday on Feb. 19^th and fulfilled her non-promise to me on my birthday that same year, April 23^rd.

It was somewhere in the wee hours around 3-4am when I woke to stumble from the couch towards my bedroom.  In that half sleep state I was on auto pilot groping for familiar landmarks so that I wouldn’t have to open my eyes when my Mother’s voice  filled both my head and the room.

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart” was all she said.

My eyes jerked open as I felt the essence of her pass through the room and instantly my knees hit the floor, tears falling freely I answered.

“I heard you mom loud and clear. You got through. You found a way. Thank you.”

So if you ask me about the after life, of this I have no doubt.  Thank you Mom, and thank you for my second visit too.

Namaste Nicole

Submitted on 2009/12/19 at 12:36 pm

I  heard of you on Whitley Strieber’s website this morning.  My husband passed away in July of this year.  You have said that no one is alone when they pass. How can I know that he is happy.  I wish he could show me.

Karen

Dear Karen,

My condolences on your loss.

It is very common that we ourselves find it difficult to move onto the next stage in our grieving (letting go) until we know our loved ones are alright.

I would like to offer what comfort I can to you when I say that although it’s been months to you, it may only feel like minutes to your husband on the other side.  Be patient.  He may try to communicate to you that he’s alright where he is in ways that are very personal to the two of you.  When that happens, as subtle as it may happen, be present, be open, and mark the moment as a Visitation.

Also, pay attention in your dreams.  Very often it is easier for our loved ones to meet us on a level playing field when we are our ethereal ourselves.  Naturally the shame is that not everyone is lucid during their dreams,  and therefore may or may not remember the visit when they awaken.  Of course setting your intention of best wishes and love to him before falling asleep will go a long way.

Sweet dreams.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/11/25 at 10:02 am

Hi Monica, In the hospital last Christmas I had a dream.  The spirits were lined up walking into the hospital.  It was black and white.  To the right, of these souls in a row, was a valley.  I call this dream, the valley of the shadow of death.  I physically got out of this dream state, I got up and immediately told them I’m not coming.  A gust of wind blew the hospital door open.  The red light emergency lights flashed in the hospital hallway and a voice over the speaker said, “red alert, red alert, room 202.”  This was my room number.  The nurses ran down the hallway to my room and asked me if I was smoking! A power shortage had happened earlier that day, that was the explanation in this realm that was given the next day.  Any comments from you are appreciated.

Thanks. Sharon

Hi Sharon,

I often tell people to try and get the emotional gist of their dream experience. If your feeling sense of this dream is to call it ‘the Valley of the Shadow of Death’, I would go with that. I don’t know what you were in the hospital for, but it sounds like you had this dream experience, and you clearly made a choice you weren’t ‘going’ with these souls to this ‘valley of death’.

In her book  Other Side and Back: A Psychic’s Guide to Our World and Beyond ,  Sylvia Browne talks about us having several ‘Exit Points’ in our life, where we have the opportunity to ‘return home’. It sounds like you were faced with a choice, and you weren’t ready to check out yet!

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/11/17/at 9:14 am

I was fascinated by the book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift . Wish I could train myself to do astral projection.

Justin

Hi Justin,

Astral Projection…yes…like the character ‘Prue’ in Charmed.  That would be really cool!  As for training for that…hmmmm. No reason why it’s not possible. It’s completely  realistic if you consider that when I’m in my dream state, I’m traveling with my ethereal dream body. At the scene of an accident occurring in the ‘waking reality’, people close to death are aware of my presence. They look directly at me,  and see me, whereas the police, firefighters and paramedics on the scene clearly don’t. That to me indicates if someone is vibrating at a particular frequency…they CAN see your ethereal body.

So, if you work on your Lucid Dreaming skills, as in really interacting in them to a state of focused intent and control, it should be possible. A better understanding of meta and quantum physics would also be beneficial.

There are many books out there that go into great detail of the various states and levels of lucid dreaming. For a deeper  explanation, and technical approach, I suggest the book by  Toltec Dreaming: Don Juan’s Teachings on the Energy Body Ken Eagle Feather as he describes his experiences with the Monroe Institute.

Good luck with your ‘travels’.

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/11/13 at 3:58pm

Your book is a blessing and I have a question..does the soul care if the body is cremated at death?

Thanks Sara

Hi Sara,

Thank you for your kind words, I hope you found the book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift to be helpful.

So far, it has not been my experience that Cremation is an issue when a Soul Crosses Over. Strong  beliefs about something before you  cross over, can affect the frequency you vibrate at, and possibly influence what you envision as you cross over. Someone who is agitated, and feels there’s unfinished business, may feel strongly enough about something to have these emotional vibrations accompany them upon Death.  The power this has over you, comes from the importance you place upon it. One way to view our physical body, is that it’s the ‘package’, or ‘wrapping’ we showed up in. What’s inside, the Soul, has a Higher Awareness we sometimes lose touch with. I work primarily with Lost or distressed Souls, however, I have been blessed to accompany those who upon passing, embrace the knowing, the ‘remembering’ of where they came from, as they return to wholeness, to the Light and a Source that is in complete acceptance, and has  No Judgment.

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

I don’t want to sound like I am bitching, moaning, or otherwise kvetching…but I really need to lay down a foundation of honesty here.   Some people think it would be wild to be Monica, to have the ‘quote-unquote’ gifts she has, and I really want to be open to those toying with the notion to be careful what you wish for.  It’s not all fun and games.

Sure it’s cool to go gallivanting around the universe; to astral travel through time and space. Who wouldn’t like to explore or play with consciousness? It’s especially exciting if you can forget your human structure and allow your imagination to take you where it will.

But then there’s the bad stuff.

The stuff we try not to sensationalize or put a big ol’ strobe light on, nonetheless, it exists.  There are times when she is called upon to be a witness.  She can’t intercede or stop a harrowing murder, all she can do is be there for the person before, during and after they cross over, and all without condemning or even judging the murderer.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t.  I’m simply not evolved enough for that.  Sometimes she experiences the death along with them-the physical sensations, the thoughts in their heads, their life long memories.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t. I’m simply not strong enough for that. Sometimes she watches children die, and she has to accept that it was meant to go down this way, for a greater good that only our higher selves knows or understands.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t, and keep my sanity anyway.  Monica admitted that she tinkered on the brink before coming to terms with what was required of her so I say this with the utmost of compassion. Be careful what you wish for.  It’s not all a joy ride out there in the slipstream of consciousness.

But then again, sometimes, it is.

Namaste, Nicole

Submitted on 2009/09/29 at 10:02 am

Hi!

I heard you on Darkness Radio last Sunday night. It was very encouraging since I’m a natural medium and I feel so isolated because I live deep in the heart of the bible belt.

My question is: if no one dies alone, why do some spirits chose to stay here?

I have helped a few cross over, but not in the dream state. I keep wondering WHY. I hear that they have unfinished business, and I have felt that emotional state coming from some stuck spirits myself. I sometimes think that the power of emotion is greater than the power of thought and that perhaps, some of them are in some way mentally ill and unable to logically understand what’s happening.

What do you think?

Sincerely,

Veronica Smith, Tyler, Texas

Hi Veronica,

No one dies alone.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn was to let go of what capacity I show up to ‘help’ a person or spirit. We all have different gifts, and we all help each other in the ways we can. There are times I’m there to assist people during a time of crisis, just before they actually pass …and then immediately upon passing, my part is done…because they continue on, either on their own because they’re ready, or with the help of another ‘Fringe Dweller’ who’s waiting on the other side. Sometimes I’m the one on the other side, and I’ve connected with a spirit who’s vibrating at a state of confusion, chaos, and I’m there to love unconditionally without judgment, and calm them down with understanding and comfort.

Some Spirits simply choose to stay. Death is a unique experience. Their emotional state at the time of their passing vibrates at a particular frequency. If that doesn’t change, they aren’t ready to  go to the light and there can be a variety of reasons.

Religious upbringing and certain beliefs can influence someone’s emotions.

Some are ready to Cross Over right away, while others need to be led to the Light. Some go into a state of anger or regret that they’re not ready to let go of. There are Lost Souls who find me, because they are still in a state of confusion and they don’t know they’ve passed. I’ve had visits from Spirits, who try to communicate the best way they can, sometimes in a clumsy manner because they’re still trying to communicate the way they would if they were still alive…so it takes them a while to realize that people aren’t responding the way they used to. However once they are acknowledged, they’re ready to cross over.

Some spirits  who have passed as the result of an accident, or tragedy, are not ready to go to the light without finding the family members who  passed at the same time. They’ll come to me and ask for help. As soon as I find and reunite them, they cross over together.

Sometimes spirits are in such an emotional state, they don’t initially recognize a Fringe Dweller is there to offer help.

Based on your comments regarding the power of emotions, I’d like to suggest Eckhart Tolle’s latest book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose …I think you’ll find it helpful, as he speaks in depth how emotions function and influence.

Sincerely , The Fringe Dweller