Fringe Dweller: an afterlife paramedic

Submitted on 2010/02/25 at 2:33 pm

Hi Monica

I have a question for you about a recent experience of mine.  Throughout my life I have had many intuitive or “paranormal” (for lack of a better word) experiences such as knowing things before they happen, seeing/sensing spirits, and having lucid dreams, but they have all been widely interspersed through the years (I’m 22 now) and fairly infrequent.  I had my first OBE at 17 and another last year.

I began listening to these hypnotic trance CDs about two weeks ago that have really been putting me into a deep state every time I listen to them, and ever since I have been experiencing lucid dreaming almost every other night, including intense flying dreams, and last week I had another OBE.  It’s funny, because the CDs are only meant to bring you into more of an abundance mentality, but it seems like they have opened up more channels for me.

What’s most interesting is the experience that I had while I was out of body.  It started with a dream, then I was flying over the ocean, (in the most conscious, lucid state I have ever experienced while dreaming) then I was floating barely a foot above my body in bed and feeling myself out of my body and yet I could feel my limbs buzzing at the same time.  Here’s the weird part: as I was laying there, I suddenly heard this voice.  And we’re not talking like dream-hearing, where you know you heard it but it doesn’t really make any sound.  No, I heard this with my ears.  It was almost like picking up static from a radio frequency.

The first thing the voice said was a long string of numbers and letters, something similar to: “M41IYIYIYIYIY.”  Then it spoke a couple of sentences in English, but get this: I couldn’t comprehend it.  I heard each word, recognized it as an English word, knew that the sentence should make sense, but as hard as I tried I simply could not put any meaning to the words, and had no idea what he was saying.  Then, it gets stranger: I heard MY voice respond – with another sentence I couldn’t comprehend – but I wasn’t trying to say anything back.  I get the feeling it wasn’t me, it just was my voice somehow.  Then the other voice responded, and I heard, clear as day: “can you hear me?”

This was the first time I actually felt like the voice was “aware” of me, so to speak, and was actually addressing ME, floating/laying there, and I could understand what he was saying.  The impression that I got was that it was surprised by my hearing it.  I tried to respond with a simple “yes,” but without meaning to I was trying to speak with my lips, rather than just thinking it, and I felt my lips move but all that came out was this long garbled noise like you would hear if someone tried to talk underwater, and my attempting to physically move is what I think snapped me out of it and back into my body.  As I lay there, the voices literally went quiet around me and the silence in the room grew SO loud.  I’ve never experienced anything like that before.

So my question is, do you have any idea what the voices could have been or what I was hearing/tuning in to?

I understand if you can’t respond but if you do I really appreciate it!  Thanks. 

Tien

Dear Tien,

Well it certainly sounds like you had quite the OBE (out of body experience)!  I understand how challenging it can be to describe such an event to others who haven’t had a similar experience. Somehow, the depth of the supernatural feeling never seems to get expressed quite the way we wish it could. That’s when the English language with ‘words’ seems somehow cumbersome. It can be very frustrating. You did very well, I can relate to a lot of what you described!

Let me start off, who or what exactly the voices were, I can’t tell you specifically. Perhaps a guide, another spirit, your own higher self, the possibilities are many.   I can however offer information that may lead  you to finding out.  I hope you’ll bare with me.

If you’ve already had similar OBE and Astral Dream experiences, you are likely of a ‘sensitive’ nature. Like most psychics, that means any methods of deep relaxation can increase the likelihood of deeper experiences- you’ll find yourself going further ‘down the rabbit hole’.  This goes hand in hand with something I like to call ‘The Art of Allowing’. However, this is not as easy as it may sound.

I’ve often referred to my ‘back seat driver’, the logical mind that comes along for the ride as a passenger during my lucid dreaming experiences. Finding what makes a good marriage between the art of allowing, and the observer part of the logical mind to enable the experience not to crash to an abrupt halt, can be a tedious balancing act that improves over time with each experience.

Most people have a really tough time ‘letting go’ of the how, what, when, where, why of things.  Hence, I would make a lousy journalist, because most of those things are irrelevant to me during a spiritual experience, because they tend to override the whole concept of ‘being’ in the moment of something.

Having the feeling of being SAFE during your astral travel, will open up and enable you to allow more freely. The more in the moment you are, the more potential you have to take things in, and you’ll pick up on more details each time. However, another key element in all this, is to do this with an open mind, free of EXPECTATIONS.

Many people have had one pivotal experience, which was joyously overwhelming. As soon as they try to REPEAT the experience, retracing over the same steps, disappointment is most often the result. Expectations are in direct conflict with the art of allowing. No two experiences are identical. See the dilemma?

As for the ‘voices’, or communication, I’ve had similar experiences. Again, the logical mind along for the ride is doing it’s dandiest to ‘decipher’ what’s going on, and gets twitter pated when it can’t seem to find ‘the words’ to do so. I’ve often described this type communication as complete thoughts that enter in a nano second, almost streaming in. For now, try to let go of all the ‘what’, and just allow the gist, the emotion, the overview to come through. When I journal these dreams, I often find myself stringing together 5-6 words that on their own, wouldn’t completely relay what I heard or felt. However, together in a string, I can revisit the event, and pick out the prime elements/aspect of each word that is relevant. Together as a whole, I then have the key thought and emotion I felt, that I couldn’t otherwise express.

Setting your INTENTION before going to bed, or meditating, also helps. You’d be surprised what the universe sends you in response. Most of us just aren’t aware enough, to take in the subtle messages that come our way when we’re truly open.

If you are feeling safe in your experiences, you can try the suggestions I’ve offered. Keep a journal, write down whatever comes to mind, WITHOUT questioning the logistics of it. Remember that colors have vibrations, so do emotions. Everything is interconnected.

The more experiences you have, the more you’ll recognize as familiar when you have new ones. As time progresses, your ‘observations’ will become keener, without interrupting the flow of the experience. You’re back seat driver will take more ‘notes’ in silence, then speaking up and interfering. You’ll potentially be in a better place to ask questions such as ‘Are you my spirit guide?’, or ‘Who are you?’. Upon waking, you’re recollection of things will have a broader spectrum. Hopefully, you’ll also have some answers!

There is a wonderful book I’ve recommended for those seeking the nitty gritty on details surrounding OBE’s, and astral travel:  Toltec Dreaming by Ken Eagle Feather. He offers in depth information on the various states of astral dreaming, and offers suggestions for levels of control while doing so. You may find more answers here that are specific to you.

When I first set out to find out some answers, I was frustrated that none of the ‘formulaic’ approaches available seemed to work for me. Once I let go of that, accepted things to simply unfold, I got the best results.

Remember that we are all unique ‘spirits having the human experience’, hence our results will differ. I wish you safe and happy travels!

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/25 at 4:18 pm

Your name Monica Holy says it. It is holy work you are doing.

Many, many people do this work. All souls of evolvement help out.

Me too. I experienced helping a lone arctic explorer who had called out for help. I was in meditation at the time. I went to his side. He felt my presence and was comforted. Same with a large boat going down. I was under water helping to guide the souls who were passing over. 9/11 was a major time for such as us. We are all put to use.

The spiritual hierarchy are here in abundance. The time demands it. I wish you well in getting
the message out there for those who have no idea just what lies within them.

God Bless,

Bhavani, England.

Hello Bhavani

My name is what it is, I can live with it now, however in high school growing up-well that’s another matter altogether lol!

It’s wonderful to hear from another Fringe Dweller. Thank you for sharing your story. This is what getting the message out there is all about, people like you coming forward in open dialogue about your experiences. It re-confirms that we are not alone in our journey as Fringe Dwellers.

I wish hearing and reading more about this subject, will bring people some understanding and lessen any fears they may have surrounding supernatural, paranormal, psychic, medium and lucid dream experiences they have encountered. You are so right in mentioning all the people out there who may have no idea of what lies within them. Let’s hope all this discussion brings about new untapped potential for good things.

“Embrace your inner Freakdom-make it your Dance Partner” is what I like to encourage!

Thank you for spreading the message,

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/24 at 6:58 am

Hi Monica,

Sometimes at night I used to get images flashing in my minds eye before I went to sleep and they made no sense to me.

I heard you talking about that this happens to you before you do what you do.

Maybe what I am experiencing is different ‘cause I don’t lucid dream, maybe I am psychic?

What do you think about these images I get?

Shannon

(BTW  I’m a guy even though I tend to have a more girlish first name hehe.)

Hi Shannon,

When I was speaking of  ‘Images flashing in my Minds Eye’ in that limbo state before drifting off to sleep, it was in specific reference to improving one’s ability to remember dreams, and improve lucid dreaming skills.

I’ve talked to many people who also get the ‘screen in their mind’s eye’. It doesn’t seem to be an uncommon occurrence. Perhaps it’s how far one takes that experience that denotes one’s ‘ability’ to lucid dream. Lucid Dreaming is the awareness  that you’re in a dream, with the potential to control your actions in the dream itself.

Whether  this particularly denotes psychic activity, I couldn’t say, because from early childhood to early adulthood, I had all my psychic experiences with a different method of falling asleep.

As for are you psychic ?-what I can suggest, is to take note of  other aspects in your life. Do you show signs of being sensitive in your waking reality – such as clairvoyance, clairsentient, clairaudient, empathic? What and how do you feel on a daily basis? Only you know what you feel on a deeper level. Become the ‘Observer’ of yourself to explore these possibilities further to see if you might be psychic.

What I can do here, is take a moment to expand on my process of falling asleep and stepping through portals to other dimensions by clarifying the difference from how the process  occurred during early childhood/early adulthood, and how it unfolds now.

Early childhood it happened naturally, without any effort on my part. I would simply find myself dropped into a dream like a ‘Movie already in Progress’. I never had the ‘images flashing in my Mind’s Eye’.  As I grew up, and questioned the ‘how, what, and why’ of things, my state of mind before sleep changed to ‘expect the unexpected’, and eventually grew into a fearfulness towards falling asleep.

I now went through a period in my life, where I wasn’t getting the proper sleep I needed.  I was in a constant state of Hyper Vigilance with both my waking and dreaming realities melting together in an endless loop.  However, I began to work with my mentor Carolyn Long, who  gave me the tools to better understand and cope with my gifts. This also meant I had to find a new sleep pattern that would give me the rest I needed. I had to learn all over again how to relax, and allow myself to fall asleep.

What I discovered with this new method of winding down for sleep time, was that in the act of relaxed meditation, I would find myself in that state of limbo I now talk about…where you’re about to drift off but can still here the dog barking outside. It was here, that the images would start to flash across the ‘Screen in my Mind’. The images would continue to stream, when suddenly I would feel the ‘switch’ go off in the form of a ‘synaptic snap’, and I’d find myself dropped into a dream like a ‘movie already in progress’. From here I take my lucid dreaming skills and apply them to the best of my ability, incorporating them with all the psychic-mediumship skills I’ve acquired in my life’s experiences.

Retraining myself to fall asleep via this calmer state of being , I’d have to venture that this was the more common and healthier process people who meditated experienced.

Know that you’re not the only one that does this, and perhaps look at it as a free ticket to a wondrous Movie Theatre. Have a positive experience by setting your intentions to do so, before falling asleep. Let the images unfold as they will, and enjoy the show!

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/19 at 12:36 pm

I  heard of you on Whitley Strieber’s website this morning.  My husband passed away in July of this year.  You have said that no one is alone when they pass. How can I know that he is happy.  I wish he could show me.

Karen

Dear Karen,

My condolences on your loss.

It is very common that we ourselves find it difficult to move onto the next stage in our grieving (letting go) until we know our loved ones are alright.

I would like to offer what comfort I can to you when I say that although it’s been months to you, it may only feel like minutes to your husband on the other side.  Be patient.  He may try to communicate to you that he’s alright where he is in ways that are very personal to the two of you.  When that happens, as subtle as it may happen, be present, be open, and mark the moment as a visitation.

Also, pay attention in your dreams.  Very often it is easier for our loved ones to meet us on a level playing field when we are our ethereal ourselves.  Naturally the shame is that not everyone is lucid and therefore may or may not remember the visit when they awaken.  Of course setting your intention of best wishes and love to him before falling asleep will go a long way.

Sweet dreams.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/19 at 8:56 am

Hi Monica,

I am a part Mayan Indian woman born psychic and an inter-dimensional traveler.

I have the double iris. I have been doing similar work to yours for years, only I just help the entities I see around me or can call in. I can bi-locate so I am conscious on more than 1 level at a time When I do this rescue work. I do dream work, helping people with their inner growth or problems.

What fascinated me about the interview I heard with you and Marla Frees  was your talking about the Void. I go into a Void, too. I sometimes call it The Great Silence. Only my Void is not black. It’s lighter but I can’t tell you what color it is. I’ve never heard anyone talk about the kind of Void I see before. But, like yours, there is nothing there, only silence and endlessness. I just suddenly go there and often remain for hours. Then I am back to my human consciousness, having no idea where I’ve been or what, if anything, I’ve done.

I am also an artist, a healer working with a body cleansing diet for physical healing and using my psychic abilities to remove emotional trauma.
I live now in Chapala Mexico.

Justyn

Hello Justyn,

Thank you for writing in with your description of  The Void. In my radio interview with Marla Frees I had described my perspective of The Void from a dream experience I painted and titled ‘The Grid’. It was such a pleasure to talk with Marla because of the common ground we share. I found many of her experiences, although slightly different, validated many of mine, from a different perspective. Your description of the Void offers that too. You also mention bi-location, which is a more accurate and effective way of describing the dream body experiences I have.

Thank you for sharing your experience and the healing practices you offer. It’s truly wonderful that this form of open dialogue is removing the cloud with what we think is ‘The Unknown’ or ‘Strange’, and hopefully lessoning the fears surrounding it  as well.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/19 at 5:09 am

Hello Monica,

I’m completely amazed right now … reading about what you do ….. because I do
the same thing! Well … it’s similar. I was trained by a Native American Shaman
as a child to astral project and work with the dead as you do. I can also do it lucid .. and I think it’s very similar .. if not the same thing.

Wow! I’m so happy to know someone else is doing this! There are so many people that need
help!

Thank you so much for making me feel not so alone.

+Valerie

Hello Valerie,

Thank you for your kind words. How incredible to be trained by a Native Shaman!  It’s wonderful to hear that this type of teaching exists.

I couldn’t be happier from all the responses that say the book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift has helped people in not feeling so alone.

And yes, there are so many people that need help, and it’s good to hear of other ‘Fringe Dwellers’ out there. Blessings to all your offerings in your dream journeys.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/11/17/at 9:14 am

I was fascinated by the book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift . Wish I could train myself to do astral projection.

Justin

Hi Justin,

Astral projection…yes…like the character ‘Prue’ in Charmed.  That would be really cool!  As for training for that…hmmmm. No reason why it’s not possible. It’s completely  realistic if you consider that when I’m in my dream state, I’m traveling with my ethereal dream body. At the scene of an accident occurring in the ‘waking reality’, people close to death are aware of my presence. They look directly at me,  and see me, whereas the police, firefighters and paramedics on the scene clearly don’t. That to me indicates if someone is vibrating at a particular frequency…they CAN see your ethereal body.

So, if you work on your lucid dreaming skills, as in really interacting in them to a state of focused intent and control, it should be possible. A better understanding of meta and quantum physics would also be beneficial.

There are many books out there that go into great detail of the various states and levels of lucid dreaming. For a deeper  explanation, and technical approach, I suggest the book ‘Toltec Dreaming’ by Ken Eagle Feather as he describes his experiences with the Monroe Institute.

Good luck with your ‘travels’.

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

It can be hard to remember that “all is divinely perfect, and is as it should be”, when you’re throwing a book launch party with no books.

After four long years of insanity getting Fringe Dweller from A to Z (meaning an idea stuck in my head, to that physical thing you can hold in your hands), no books. Welcome to my world, or rather my sandbox. Not the kind the cats go in, most of the time. The kind that wonderful and creative things happen in, spontaneously, if only you trust.

It’s a good thing I have an ironic sense of humour, and have had lots of practice learning to trust, or I might have been less gracious.  As it was, I laughed. Ah well. I believe you take what action you can, but then don’t berate yourself for the things outside your control.

From the ashes of chaos came the most fantastic experience. My friends came over to help celebrate and lord knows I owe  them for putting up with me these past few years – so the wine and sushi were flowing that night (it IS Vancouver after all.)   My partner and fellow author did a brief reading, and then we all stood around in our fuzzy slippers and PJ’s taking turns sharing our personal metaphysical stories.

You see, we decided that PJ’s were to be the theme of choice because I am after all a ‘lucid dreamer’ and the Nightshift stories happen when I’m asleep, so it seemed apropos.   Besides, it was laundry day.

What Magic!  Open Mic nite of the Paranormal unfolded as naturally as two bar flies trying to pick each other up after last call.  It was beautiful.  Like everyone had been sitting on some gigantic secret egg and finally the time was ripe to hatch.  It was like a load had been lifted.  I expected two or three stories to be told, but more than half of the group had an experience to share, and it was clear they felt relieved to have a safe environment for it.

So I want to present the following suggestion.  Throw a Paranormal PJ Party in your town – books are optional!  It’s a great theme and you can even hand out gifts for the wildest ensemble.  Martha Stewart the theme as much as you like, but remember the point is to create dialogue.  Isn’t it time we all came out of the psychic closet?  Maybe paranormal IS normal?  Oh, and by the way, if you do decide to host a party… pleeeease write in and let me know how it went.

Dream on, the Fringe Dweller

acrylic on canvas = 5.5′h x 3.5′w

LOVE’S LIGHT

Dream Journal entry:

Monday, August 9 2004

I am in the matrix. For me to be here means a lost soul is ready to go home.

I have a vague corporeal structure—my ethereal body—with just enough form to appear human. I’m holding the hand of the person I’m leading. In the darkness that surrounds us, we head toward the cone of brilliant light that is ahead. As we draw closer the light intensifies, becoming brighter than any sun that human eyes have seen, yet its brilliance does not spill out of its own form to light the space around it. The light is held within itself, waiting for the return of the spirit that approaches, waiting to bring the spirit home.

We feel the ineffable love that radiates from the cone of light—an overwhelming sense of peace, calm, wonder, compassion and wellness. The unutterable joy increases as we come yet closer, and all fear or hesitation is forgotten in its ecstatic expression.

My being opens in wonder and innocence. I am free to be as vulnerable as a newborn, without fear of judgment. Waves of ecstasy wash through me and back again to the light from which they came in an exchange of pure and all-consuming love. In a fraction of a moment I know what it means to be at one with something. I am filled with a sense of connection to everyone and everything—the Source of all that is.

I stop at the light’s edge still holding the hand of the soul that I have led here, and gently release him into the blissful light. My hand grazes the luminosity and I am pierced to every quarter of my being with the unconditional, absolute sense of infinitelove that is the light.

Although I yearn to drift into the light along with the person I brought here, I know that that is not my purpose in coming, nor is it my time. I gently let go of his hand as I feel his essence begin to rise, watching in awe as he disappears into the apex of the cone before finally vanishing into the intensity of love’s light.

He has gone Home and I am breathless with the gratitude of having come here, and the memory of my communion with eternal, limitless, infinite love.

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tint on canvas = 5′h x 3′w

THE FLACKER

Dream Journal entry:

Tuesday, February 14 2006

It’s a pleasant social moment in dreamtime. I’m telling a story to a friend about the escapades of my Burmese cat battling it out with a squash.

A sound intrudes from the background. It’s faint at first, but as it gets louder it starts to annoy me. It’s like the stutter of fingers being rubbed on an inflated balloon and rates right up there in my books with nails on the chalkboard. I involuntarily shiver.

Doing my best to ignore the distraction, I carry on with my tale, but the noise is persistent and gets louder yet. “Don’t you hear that?” I finally ask my friend, but she claims not to have heard a thing. Shrugging, I pick up the thread of the story a third time and just as I do, I become aware of a ghostly presence out of the corner of my eye.

It’s a young woman—perhaps in her late teens— wearing blue jeans and a long-sleeved blue striped shirt. She’s soaking wet. Her long, straggly blonde hair is plastered in matted strands against her face. Her face is gaunt. She looks as though she drowned.

I feel her close now, standing just by the bedside, but I refuse to give up my story, anxious to get to the punch line.

Suddenly her form begins to flicker back and forth like the strobing image from an old film projector. Between the flickering image and the stuttering sound, it’s nothing short of creepy. My patience at an end, I finally give in and turn to her. ‘Stop it!!” I demand firmly, ‘You’re freaking me out!”

“Well it got your attention didn’t it?” she said, smiling slightly in apology.

“Yes,” I admit, “but it freaks me out, so please stop doing it!”

“It’s called flacking,” she replied, and with that she disappeared. Although she hadn’t told me her name, I knew it was Debbie.

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acrylic on canvas = 5.5′h x 7′w

THE GREYS

Dream Journal entry:

Wednesday, January 14 2003

It was not so bad at first when it was like the crunching of dry autumn leaves underfoot. But still, a small chill ran up my spine and down the backs of my legs like a breeze from the long shadows of approaching winter. A warning of the cold.

The sound grew then, as I listened. What is that? I thought. Is that leaves? No, not leaves. It was too persistent, too relentless. It was something in the walls, something wanting to come out. It was more of a scuttling. Like a swarm of a thousand insects, coming out of the walls, perhaps, coming from nowhere and everywhere. Images flitted through my mind—the dust bowl, the trembling farmer, Egypt, locusts with mandibles clicking in voracious appetite.

The hairs all down the back of my neck stood on end. I felt a nameless dread. Then I saw them—the source of my growing fear. Grey figures— looming, needy, hungry, always wanting. They were huddling together, bound to each other by their dark energies, by the heaviness of their woe. They clothed themselves in it, this woe, gathering it around themselves for whatever ragged warmth it might provide. But of course there was no warmth. There was only poverty, cold, rejection and aching, desperate hunger.

As one they surged towards me, wanting. Wanting what? Nothing, everything. Just wanting, empty, filled with lack. Huge with lack.

All of a sudden, I felt tiny—a small light in the oppressive despair that moved toward me. If that darkness reached me, I would be lost. I would be consumed, left nothing but a stalk stripped of its grain.

My mind hurried to build the box of mirrors that would protect me. Above, below, forward and back, the reflective surfaces began to take shape, but it was too late. Already I could feel the dark energy starting to suck me under.

“Ooooh, #%&*!!!” I thought, “get me outta here!” And with that I was gone.

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