“As an Empath, how do I distinguish my Emotions from those around me?”

'Ask the Fringe Dweller' Blog Question for Monica Holy author of 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'Submitted on 2010/04/19 at 12:59 pm

Hello,

I know this question may be more directed to Nicole but here is goes….

When Nicole talked about Empaths and how they feel everything… I am like that sometimes, picking up on whoever is around me, their emotions.

How do I feel my own when other people are around?  I can give opinions when other people are present but they are generally logic and common sense. When other people are unhappy, so am I. Sometimes I can shake it and sometimes I cannot.

Any suggestions??

Thank You!!! Cheers :)


Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'Hey Cassandra,

Hope you don’t mind Monica passing this one on to me but I can get a little like the character Horshack on Welcome Back Kotter, when its one I know the answer to (grin).

Ground yourself.  Learn to run your own essence energy through the 7 major Chakras in your body.  It can be a longer Meditation if you wish, or as short as imagining your grounding being a root of a tree leaving your body through your feet and driving into the earth below going deeper and deeper utterly connecting you to mother earth.  Then imagine energy from the sun being love from your Creator (however you identify with that) and see it as a golden river of honey that moves from the top of your head cascading and winding itself throughout your body eventually exiting out your feet.  Think of how warm the sun feels on your skin when doing this.  Imagine drinking Creator’s energy (Love) directly in, and while doing so summon any part of your own emotional body back to you that may have been ‘attached’ with or to someone else.  Pretend that there is a shimmering energetic egg shape around your body that embodies the highest frequency…Love.  Mentally say, “All that is not mine, be gone.”  Only love may enter and only love may exit.

The more you ‘run’ your own Essence Energy the more you will become aware of what is yours, and what is not yours.  You can choose when to merge your essence energy with another in this way instead of  ‘going along for the ride’ all the time.  This would be a good time to pick up a book on ‘Chakras’ and try some of the meditations to see what works for you.

Namaste, Nicole

 


How Clairsentience saved me from a Sexual Predator

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'It’s kind of funny (as in funny weird not funny ha ha) that since I’ve begun writing down stuff about my own psychic experiences the vaults are swinging open to long lost memories I’ve swept to the sides, and for the most part let moss grow on.  I’m not one to dwell in the corridors of the past, but it’s somewhat necessary to get out the flashlight and go down a tunnel or two if I’m going to be of any use to up and coming psychics, to illustrate the ‘practical’ side of our gift.  To be able to recognize it and utilize it when it matters most, when we are in danger.

I’d like to share a story that was very scary for me (I was only 14 at the time), but it is a perfect example of why we need to sweep our logical mind aside sometimes and just go with our ‘knowingness’.

Raised on a farm in rural Ontario, spring was always my favorite time of year.  I have a special love of lilacs spanning back to my earliest toddler moments.  I loved being able to grab an armful of the sweet and joyful blooms cascading abundantly onto the front porch of my parent’s home, pulling them to me as I inhaled deeply.  They say that smell can trigger some of our most vivid memories, and to this day I have a wonderful association with them.

One of the gifts that pressed me to be appreciative and in the moment is the fleeting nature of this flower, which only has a two week lifespan before it withers and dies.  It has become my seasonal ritual to seek out and commune with the lilac every spring since I began walking, so there I was during the 14th year of being top side on the planet in search of my old friend.

My parents had a little hobby farm where I grew up with my half lab-all mutt dog Duke who was only too happy to accompany me on my foray a couple miles up the dirt road.   It was the middle of the day, and I knew I was trespassing onto some strangers’ property, but the light purple posies I’d come to collect for my mother’s table bouquet was just beyond reach of the fence line, and there was no way I was going home without my prize.  As I stood by the bush with a few clippings in hand I saw an old Ford truck bobbing with the rolling hills in the distance.  It reminded me of a roller coaster ride disappearing and reappearing from my view, but I had eagle eye sight back then and I was pretty sure I’d seen them but they hadn’t seen me.

Call it guilt for sneaking around on someone’s land without permission, a bit of paranoia, or maybe the touch of fear that was beginning to make its way from my stomach up into my chest, but I had the extreme desire to HIDE! I ran across the road onto the adjoining property and made my way to the tree line to blend into the foliage as Duke bounded past me presumably after a squirrel.  I crouched, waiting for the truck to pass thinking to myself, ‘Self.  You are such a ‘nob’.  What are you doing?  Clipping a few lilacs is not an offense punishable by death so what are you so worried about?”  Still the feeling would not let up as my heart crashed against my chest.

A minute or two passed and then the truck decreased its speed as it came over the last hill and rolled to a halt.  “What the hell were they doing?  Guess I’m in trouble now.”  I thought as I prayed they wouldn’t see me.  “That farmer must be plenty pissed if they were going to this trouble over a little trespassing.”  I kept perfectly still hoping that the fear in my chest wouldn’t cause me to light up like a Christmas tree.  It just didn’t make sense.  My emotions were racing and completely disproportionate to the situation at hand, and I knew this.  Why then was I so scared?

The door creaked as a middle aged man got out and walked in my general direction.  “I can see you.” He said, “So you might as well come on out.”.

Sheepishly I gathered myself up.  “Busted.”  I thought as I emerged from the bush to an open clearing, but then I was compelled to stop, and waited for him to make the next move.  To my horror the man slowly and silently started towards me bridging the gap, removing first his belt and then unzipping his pants, his intentions becoming clearer.  I stood my ground, finally understanding why my ‘instincts’ had been buzzing since I first saw that truck in the distance, comprehending my vulnerable position out in the middle of no where, wishing I had told someone where I was going that day before I’d headed out.

I stood my ground, fists clenched at my side ready to give this guy the fight of his life as was my nature when out of no where Duke screeched to a halt between us growling, bearing his teeth and making his intention clear.  I found my voice then, and steadied it for all I was worth.  “You see that dog mister?  There’s something you need to understand.  He will fight until one of you is dead, and unless you want to see how that turns out, I suggest you zip up your pants, get back in that truck, and keep on going.”

To my utter relief the man paused only for a moment while considering his options, and then did just that.  Guess between the girl with the rock in her hand and the dog from hell he’d decided this was more fight than he’d bargained for.  I sank to my knees once the drone of the engine was well beyond my hearing and nearly lost my insides on the spot.  Thank God for Duke!  Thank God for being Empathic.  Thank you Clairsentience.  I was in danger and I knew it!  I just knew it!  Why the hell hadn’t I listened!?

I have had other unpleasant experiences where by the same knowingness has kicked in when I needed to know the score.  I have since learned not to reject these gems when they come my way, but rather to embrace them and stand alerted.  I am sharing stories here on my blog that in many cases my own family haven’t heard, and so if they come across this I hope they won’t be offended that this is so.  I simply feel that sometimes the truth is the best example we can offer for our insights, and I really hope to get the message across especially to young people, to please listen to your instincts, your feelings, your clairsentience when they pop up for you.  It may just be the thing that saves your life.

Namaste, Nicole

 


What is a Psychic Imprint?

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'Luckily I’d heard of such things, because when I experienced such a thing, it had the subtlety of a space ship landing on your house.  If you ever run across a Psychic Imprint there will be no doubt of it even if it’s your first time.

It was early on at the turn of this new century as I went for a stroll with a dear friend of  mine who calls himself ‘the Wise Wizard’.  Peter and I used to enjoy going for a stretch along Jericho beach in Vancouver, Canada to ground ourselves and catch up on each others lives.  He was always a great sounding board, and the first to chuckle at one of my few fears in life, dying in a fire or by drowning.  He was quick to share that he had a flash of me in former lives and it was little wonder WHY those two haunted me. Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not afraid of death per say, but the ‘how to’ part might be problematic as I don’t find myself attracted to pain.  Past lives have a way sometimes of leaving an emotional mark in this one and I’d had many an unpleasant ‘end’ as a Witch or Healer or ‘Woman of the Woods’ when it was less than popular to be one.  Thank goodness we don’t stone Naturopaths or Herbalists in this day and age.

N’way, we were strolling along taking in the sun and surf when it felt like a wall of emotion ‘gob smacked’ me in my tracks.  I had the distinct impression of fear, panic, desperation as though I was in peril. I pointed to some shrubbery where a large rock was present and said, ‘There.  That’s where it happened. I felt like I was dragged in there.”

To my utter astonishment my companion answered back in agreement. “I was overwhelmed with the urge to sexually assault you.  To drag you into those bushes”  Even though his comments sounded predatory I wasn’t worried or offended because we were both psychics, and we both understood that what we’d experienced was an example of an imprint, but from two very different points of view.  I had taken in the extreme emotions imprinted on the natural environment from the victim’s stand point while my friend had experienced the echo of the stalker.  Echoes are not the same as your own emotions and having had plenty of run-ins with other people’s feelings I could differentiate like a 5 year old can tell chocolate from strawberry ice cream.  Advantage goes to the Empath.

A psychic imprint then is an echo of an emotion, an emotional memory of an event that occurred by those who experienced it. The natural environment almost acts like a sponge recording and playing back that energy.  I don’t believe it can hurt you although it can shock or frighten the heck out of you if you didn’t know what it is, or when it’s coming.  More than likely you can expect to pick up on places that witnessed great tragedy as obvious sources of unexplained outbursts of emotional energy, however great joy and love can also imprint an area.

To review, any intense emotional charge can have this effect so be forewarned that just going into the bedroom of the average North American teenager may lead to bursts of emotional drama. (grin)  Yes, that was a joke.  For those of you who still have adolescent children at home….good luck with that.

For the rest of us, if you pass by an area and inexplicably find yourself shaken with intense emotions that aren’t your own, there’s a very good chance you just experienced your first psychic imprint. Inhale-Exhale.  Just breathe, and leave. Whatever happened is in the past so say a little prayer such as the protective affirmation “All that is not mine, please leave” with conviction, and go on with your day knowing you caught wind of some echoes wafting through time.

Namaste, Nicole

 


The Art of Intuition

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'The art of intuition is listening to it when it speaks.

Ever see one of those Steven King movies where it was really scary building up the monster that you never got to see?  This post is a little like one of those scenes so please don’t lose it on me for that.  The truth is I never got to see it either.

I am a huge fan of ‘Listen to your Gut’.

I know a lot of people feel silly when their intuition speaks up and they try to play it down, but I’m here to tell you, don’t do that.  Case in point:  I was around 19 on a camping trip in Algonquin Park, Ontario-Canada with my then boyfriend.  Yes, that was a very long time ago because I now have a girlfriend, that’s how long ago it was.   Thankfully I listened when my red flags went off which IS the reason I am here to tell the tale of it at all.

We were having a weekend in rugged, au natural Algonquin and I was really looking forward to a bit of hiking, camping, fishing and of course some tent time with my fella.  I did say I was 19 after all.

We’d arrived a little after supper time in the summer months, and we had just enough light to get our tent up and go for a quick paddle before sun set. Then the evening would finish off with a lovely bonfire, s’mores, shooter drinks, and hopefully a laugh or two.

As we set out in our canoe aimlessly catching the drift and getting accustomed to the stroke of our paddles, we set our sites on a tiny little island in the centre of the lake as a point to aim for.  From a distance it was an itty bitty spot and looked to be the perfect area to pull up the boat and nibble on our sandwiches, but as we came into closer range my heart began to plummet.

I felt like a fool.

Not only had my heart sunk it was beginning to pound faster as adrenaline coursed through my body.  I said nothing as we approached the last 20 meters thinking that my response was uncalled for and embarrassing.  There was nothing on this little rock after all.  I could see no logical reason for this ridiculous outburst of emotion that screamed inside my body to go no further.

I pressed on.

As we pulled up on the rocks I found myself reeling looking around frantically as though the island itself was under suspicion, and still I said nothing as we dragged our canoe up on the sand mooring her there.  Determined to maintain my composure I sat down on the jagged stone outcroppings to fish out our humble dinner when finally my voice found its bearings.

“Michael.”  I said. “I don’t know how to explain this, but every fibre in my being tells me that we’re being watched, and if we don’t get off this island right now, we never will.  Get back in the boat with me and do it fast.”

In one swift motion we were back in the water paddling madly and to my profound relief my high school sweetheart admitted, “I was feeling the same thing too but was too embarrassed to say anything.  I’m so glad you did.”

Now you may be asking what was it that had us so spooked that we tore out of there like our heads were on fire but to this day I still don’t know.  Happily I don’t have to know.  I’m still alive.  If you’ve watched the horror movies it’s Dead guy #3 who goes looking for the source of it or who shrugs off his gut instincts and keeps going.

You can give it all sorts of titles from vibes, to Intuition, to your gut or even your ‘Spidy sense’, but it all amounts to the same thing, your inner knowingness.  Don’t be afraid to let it speak and when it does, for goodness sake, shut up and listen.

Namaste, Nicole

 


If Depression was 87.5 fm on the Dial

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'I haven’t quite figured out yet what specific frequencies belong to what range of emotions.  If 87.5 fm referred to Depression then 108.9 would be Gratitude and so on.  I can’t say that there is an actual frequency assigned to each emotion but ‘empathically speaking’ (ok smarty pants I know that’s not a real word but it’s not what I say, it’s what I mean so give it a rest) there is definitely a different ‘feeling’ that accompanies what I will refer to as ‘the lower range’ of emotions vs. the ‘higher range’ of emotions.

I’m not gonna get into one is better than the other.  Anger isn’t bad.  Nor is joy good.  Those are judgments.  They are merely states of being that is all.  I have noticed that emotions that don’t spring from ‘joy’ are sluggish, slower, denser if I can use these terms to qualify something that is abstract.  I can feel it when I’m around someone swimming in the key of  D-minor for example.  It seems that like a chord in music certain emotional states clump together, so someone who lives in the key of anger may also experience an undercurrent of bitterness, resentment, jealousy.  Likewise someone who lives in a state of gratitude may also swim in compassion, consideration and grace, and this state ‘vibrates’ faster.

I recall waking up beside my partner who ‘lives’ in perpetual gratitude and hearing a high pitch ‘hum’ in my ears as well as feeling ‘bees buzzing’ on my skin.  Since I was half asleep part of my conscious mind said, “What the hell is going on?  That’s way too fast.” And my subconscious self replied, “ Go back to sleep.  That’s just Monica.’

Energy field- unplugged.

Our aura changes as we change. As we accept new ideas, and change our perceptions our emotions change along with them.  We are all on this path spanning from the awareness of being a Tyrant like Attila the Hun inching our way towards Buddha or Christ consciousness, and we will all arrive there in our own time.  That is the beauty of not judging.  “Nothing is good nor bad but thinking makes it so.”

“We are all droplets of water in an endless sea, a forgotten divinity.”

I wrote that lyric line years ago to describe the fact that we are all one.  The sea is indivisible from its drops of water and vice versa.    We are all part of a collective consciousness and that consciousness in turn is joined to bloody everything.

As a kid I always wondered how God could know everything.  Then I found out that Creator IS part of every thing.  Clever, clever place to hide.  So the moral of the story is that emotions are merely frequencies and represent the state of our awareness or consciousness at this moment in time.  Of course that can change at any given moment.  A very good friend once said to me, “How do you want to show up in life?”  I’ll rephrase that.  What frequency do you want to surf in?  God gave you free will, and since you ARE God, the choice is yours.

Namaste, Nicole

 


A Heart only knows another Heart

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'

That’s my credo, because I’m Bi-sexual and that pretty much sums it up for me.

I think that balance between masculine and feminine energies is a natural state of being for humans. The reason I believe this is so is that many of us incarnate as both male AND female many times over. Hence gender is only part of this physical reality. On the other side however, we have no physical body, so this question of “innie” or “outtie” doesn’t matter much there.

Even here on earth, how Sexuality is treated is a matter of what Culture you are born into. I have always found it intriguing that from one society’s rules to the next “nothing was either good nor bad but thinking made it so.” Meaning, what was taboo over here was nothing to break a sweat about over there. Ideas about right and wrong, good and bad, natural or unnatural are based more upon man-made concepts. We’re born into cultures that embrace them, and taught to believe what our culture accepts as correct.

Of course during the course of our lives it is our destiny to come to terms with our authenticity and to challenge antiquated ideologies that no longer serve our truths, otherwise women still wouldn’t have the vote and President Obama wouldn’t be in office.

Getting back to ‘Energy’ I find a state of ‘balance in all things’ to be a healthy state of being. Extremes to an Empath are, well, extremely uncomfortable. Now I’m not saying that everyone who is straight or gay is in denial ’cause this conversation isn’t really even about sex. It’s about what or whom we are attracted to, and if you take the body out of the equation… aren’t you just falling in love with a person?

Namaste, Nicole

 


You’re an Empath…I’m a What?

Nicole Chayka is the co-author of the paranormal book 'Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift'Empathy is a word that most of us can relate to.  Did I really just say that?  Bad joke.  Sorry, I should be taken out back and flogged with a wet noodle.

Bad, bad Nikki.

To empathize is a verb, but the first time I ever heard it used as a noun is a day I will never forget.  I was sitting across from an acquaintance who, among other things, did Psychometry. That fascinates me. To do psychometry, I think you have to be part Astral Projector and part blood hound to pick up that energy scent. She assisted the police in solving their cases by touching an object and getting a glimpse of information, hopefully about the whereabouts of the owner.  Naturally all of this was hush hush. After all, “What would people say if they knew the police used a psychic?”

Now Elaine had other gifts as well.  She could see a person’s Aura and tell you a little bit about yourself.  That day I had come for a reading that focused on my current life theme for this incarnation and she took me by surprise, by relaying her experience following me around at my last house party.  She told me that as hostess of said soiree I would greet each new guest and my aura would change. Wot?

Let’s say Tom’s aura was pink with purple polka dots. (not really, but you get the idea) Mine became pink with purple polka dots.  And Nancy?  Well, Nancy had zebra stripes so mine became zebra stripes. In short, my aura changed with each new person I met.  Weird, eh?  Not for an Empath.  Apparently, for us it’s normal. It’s what we do.  I then received notice from Elaine on what my childhood must have looked like.  Whoa!  Spot on.  How did I know it was unusual to hang out with every social group in high school from the jocks to the metal heads to the brainiacs to the punk rockers?   I was in with everyone.  I’m told that’s unusual.

So let’s review.  Every person on the planet has an aura.  Lots of neat information is stored there.  Stuff like your bodies’ health issues, past life information, unfinished karmic stuff attached to this life, and of course, emotions.  Deep seated emotions.  Even the stuff you’ve combed over with a rake and shovel and thought you had buried. or worse yet – lied to yourself about while playing the denial game, or maybe they ride close to the surface.  At any rate Empaths feel them, to the point it can be hard distinguishing somebody else’s’ stuff from their own, and as a child you can bet that screwed me up.

It also allowed me to see past the false bravado and bullshit that most people put up -or try to put out there as the ‘face’ they wish to show the world.  Got my ass kicked plenty knowing stuff I shouldn’t have said out loud. Some people didn’t like that. Ah well. On the flip side it also enabled me to feel what was authentic and relate to my peers on a whole other level.

I’ve come to see people in some ways as being divided against themselves.  They seem unaware that there is the personality or the emotions that people have –not unlike wearing articles of clothing on the body.  Underneath all that however is the ageless self.  That’s the part of us that comes along for the ride as the observer, watching without judgment all the soap operas and drama that the personality drums up.   None of it is real, but in our minds we create the story and then we create the emotions generated from it.  It’s all about point of view. All of it is real, and none of it is real.  I mean if I go through life with yellow sunglasses, guess what?  I color my perceptions in a swath of yellow, thus justifying my world view.  So, what color sunglasses are you wearing?

In summary (yes we are nearing the end so you can refresh your tea):

Empaths feel everything. We feel the full spectrum of human emotion right down to the key of G.  We feel you and it is how ‘I’ in large part experience my reality.  I tune into whatever, whoever is around me and vibrate on that bat channel for awhile to get their flavour. Of course I do have my own frequency on the radio dial and I park it there once in awhile.  The fact that we are all one makes it possible to do so, and at some later date when I’ve had enough wine and feel up to it, I’ll share what it’s like to have a visit with the dearly departed after they’ve shed their personality and their real self is revealed.

You, I, WE are beautiful baby. (just in case no one’s told you lately)

Namaste, Nicole

 


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