Fringe Dweller: an afterlife paramedic

Grieving is a hard process to negotiate even if you do believe in reincarnation.  Even if you do believe in Spirit guides, Visitations, Fringe Dwellers and the After life. Grieving can take a hell of a lot out of you. In my life I’ve said goodbye to all my grandparents, parents, god parents and my oldest childhood friend.  That’s a whole lotta grieving.

I think its natural for people to want to make contact with their loved ones on the Other Side.  We know we’ll be reunited ‘one day’ but meanwhile we’d still like the occasional visit, the check in, just to say ‘hey’,  just to let us know they’re alright.

I was fortunate to have had the relationship I did with my Mother.  We were as contrary as two people could be.  If she said black I’d say white.  If she said she couldn’t, I’d say she could if only she would choose to. We were opposite ends of the same pole. We fought as only a mother and daughter can, but in the end, at the end of the day we knew we loved each other.

I remember once going to visit her and about 3 hours into our weekend turning to her and saying, “You drive me nuts. You will understand if I tell you that I love you like crazy and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, but I can only handle being around you for about an hour before going stark raving mad!”  Luckily she laughed, and responded that she understood, because she felt exactly the same way.  We had an odd relationship my Mother and I, but I never doubted her love for me or vice verse.

When Mom was diagnosed with multiple Myeloma she was told by her oncologist that this form of cancer was so rare she stood a better chance of winning a lottery than having this disease.  As was Mom’s custom to think negatively she said, “That’s my luck, my lottery.  If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have none at all.”   Of course the movie ‘The Secret’ wasn’t out yet and any talk of ‘creating your reality’ was not a topic I could broach with her. When I tried we fought.  It was MY life lesson to learn to let go.  To let go trying to save her from her negative thinking and just ‘be’ with her as she went through this difficult time in her life.  Letting someone ‘have at’ their negativity is a particularly tough one for me to swallow as I’m a fighter and don’t do victim third Chakra issues.  Playing the victim has always rubbed me the wrong way which is precisely the reason I reincarnated as this woman’s child no doubt (lol).  Nonetheless, I loved her fiercely and it was one of the hardest things I will ever do to have simply been present, and bare witness over the last ten weeks of her life.  Her mind slipped away as the toxins filled her body and the morphine barely kept the pain at bay.  She eventually elapsed into her first tongue as a French Canadian. That is when she would speak at all.

There were moments of lucidity.

One of those precious moments I made sure to ask her to do something for me.  I asked her to promise to pay me a visitation after she passed just to let me know that where ever she was, she was ok.

A promise is not something she would give she said, as she didn’t know what waited for her on the Other Side, and so she didn’t want to promise something she didn’t know if she could deliver on.  She had always been a woman of her word, and since she did not give it lightly she would not do so now.  However, with a little grin and mischief in her eyes she did say that we all knew how stubborn she was, and if there was a way, she would find it.

My Mother passed two days before her birthday on Feb. 19^th and fulfilled her non-promise to me on my birthday that same year, April 23^rd.

It was somewhere in the wee hours around 3-4am when I woke to stumble from the couch towards my bedroom.  In that half sleep state I was on auto pilot groping for familiar landmarks so that I wouldn’t have to open my eyes when my Mother’s voice  filled both my head and the room.

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart” was all she said.

My eyes jerked open as I felt the essence of her pass through the room and instantly my knees hit the floor, tears falling freely I answered.

“I heard you mom loud and clear. You got through. You found a way. Thank you.”

So if you ask me about the after life, of this I have no doubt.  Thank you Mom, and thank you for my second visit too.

Namaste Nicole

Submitted on 2009/12/13 at 10:45 pm

Once we do cross over into the light, are our thought processes, memories and self-identity still preserved?

Gary

Dear Gary

It’s been my experience working with people who have crossed from life to death, that yes, their thought processes, and memories are preserved. Once people cross over from death into the light, although ‘yes’ that our self identity is preserved, the overall perspective changes. We take the growth from our experiences in this incarnation with us, into the next incarnation.

It’s a known concept that we ‘write our blueprint’ of the experiences we wish to experience before returning the next time. Sylvia Browne goes into more detail on this in her book The Other Side and Back. Our memory of our past lives are not always intact as we reincarnate into the next one, as the purpose is to have a new life experience each time. However, many people do remember instances or have dreams of their past lives.

I myself have a variety of characteristics from past lives that I can directly relate back via past life dreams. There are other  idiosyncrasies I don’t recall, but can only imagine their origin, like scratching my chin as if I had a full grown man’s beard. With each return trip, the potential for our awareness to expand exists, it may just take longer for some people.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/12/01 at 12:41 am

Thanks so much for writing your book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift . I have been helping souls pass over too, for most of my life. I thought I was quite crazy, until I was helping souls during 9/11, not knowing at the time what had happened, and waking up to turn on the TV to find it was exactly how I had just witnessed it (I am in Australia). The tsunami time as well was something I saw on TV that I had just witnessed. So those times gave me faith that it wasn’t all in my mind!

I saw your book, and I was very excited. My experiences follow yours so very closely. I shall look out for you on my travels, I haven’t seen too many others doing this, but I am asleep here whilst you are awake there! Bless you with a thousand blessings…

Julieanne

Hello Julieanne

It’s wonderful to hear from a fellow Fringe Dweller in Australia! That validation we get by seeing our dreams in the news can be heart wrenching as we realize those  tragedies  really happened. However knowing we aren’t ‘imagining’ things is very important as it helps keep us sane. People who haven’t had these experiences may not understand to what depth we struggle internally to make sense of it all, let alone accept it.

Thank you for your kind words, and I too will keep a lookout  for you on my travels.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/11/20 at 12:29 am

I have conversations with friends who passed, shortly after they died. It takes me days, sometimes weeks, to decipher their message. I find it very draining, because I can hear their voices and feel their vibes constantly for that short period of time. But once I understand the message and pass it around to loved ones, it gives them great relief. So, I know my experiences have a purpose.

I am wondering if I am only hearing ghosts of loved ones because I am afraid of being in contact with ghosts in general. Do you know of anyone who have developed the ability to be in contact with ghosts, beyond the few loved ones, and if so, could you direct me to some mentor or techniques? If not, do you know of any techniques to keep myself centered when I am being contacted by friends who recently died?

Martine

Hello Martine

I too feel my experiences have a purpose, and although I originally anticipated to expand my gifts to other areas, I found what worked for me best, was what showed up naturally, and so I was content to ‘be’ with that. However, I have noticed, that as my state of heart, mind and awareness change and grow, so do my gifts. That saying ‘The teacher appears when the student is ready’ I find very fitting. Community bookstores, spiritual and new age churches often post contact info for people or groups dealing with paranormal themes who can help. However do your due diligence to make sure they’re authentic. If you feel you are ready to expand your circle of experience, put that intention ‘out to the universe’, and you may be amazed at what comes back. Say it out loud, but with clarity of what exactly  it is you wish to expand. Here’s where you can protect yourself as you set some boundaries around the ‘how’ or ‘when’ you would like to help. I reference some protection techniques in the post ‘Am I opening a Door that I’m not ready for?‘.

Be careful what you ask for, you may find yourself surrounded by an entourage of ghosts/spirits that leave you feeling overwhelmed, and impede your daily life. Have you ever seen the wonderful comedy ‘Ghost Town’?  You may find yourself with a ‘take a number ‘ policy! I’ve heard Sylvia Browne ask that she only be shown the positive experiences, as opposed to the traumatic ones. I found John Edward’s book ‘One Last Time‘  insightful and humorous regarding dialogues with ghosts. Your very fear  ‘of being in contact with ghosts in general’ as you say, may be creating the boundaries of who contacts you. Fearfulness, or trepidation has it’s own frequency of vibration, and many spirits who have just  crossed over may not have the best communication skills either. Patience is required. If the message they are trying to communicate is not clear to you, clarify that you aren’t understanding, and ask them to try something different. If you choose to  ask for spirit guide assistance in your communication with the ghosts who have contacted you, ask to only work ‘with those of the light’.

Also, VERY IMPORTANT, is the following gem I learned from experience. Sometimes, a message that comes through does not make sense, because it’s not for you to understand. The meaning may be exclusive to the person it is intended, they will understand. The message can literally be lost in the attempt to translate. It’s most often the essence of what’s shown at face value. You can speak to the person the message is meant for, explaining that you don’t get the reference, but perhaps it may mean something to them, and then relay what you saw, heard, or felt.

Experience and flying by the seat of my pants has been my biggest teacher, and not necessarily something I recommend, however sometimes we have to go with what we have at our disposal.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller.

Submitted on 2009/11/13 at 3:58pm

Your book is a blessing and I have a question..does the soul care if the body is cremated at death?

Thanks Sara

Hi Sara,

Thank you for your kind words, I hope you found the book Fringe Dweller on the Night Shift to be helpful.

So far, it has not been my experience that cremation is an issue when a soul crosses over. Strong  beliefs about something before you  cross over, can affect the frequency you vibrate at, and possibly influence what you envision as you cross over. Someone who is agitated, and feels there’s unfinished business, may feel strongly enough about something to have these emotional vibrations accompany them upon death.  The power this has over you, comes from the importance you place upon it. One way to view our physical body, is that it’s the ‘package’, or ‘wrapping’ we showed up in. What’s inside, the soul, has a higher awareness we sometimes lose touch with. I work primarily with lost or distressed souls, however, I have been blessed to accompany those who upon passing, embrace the knowing, the ‘remembering’ of where they came from, as they return to wholeness, to the light and a source that is in complete acceptance, and has  no judgment.

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

I don’t want to sound like I am bitching, moaning, or otherwise kvetching…but I really need to lay down a foundation of honesty here.   Some people think it would be wild to be Monica, to have the ‘quote-unquote’ gifts she has, and I really want to be open to those toying with the notion to be careful what you wish for.  It’s not all fun and games.

Sure it’s cool to go gallivanting around the universe; to astral travel through time and space. Who wouldn’t like to explore or play with consciousness? It’s especially exciting if you can forget your human structure and allow your imagination to take you where it will.

But then there’s the bad stuff.

The stuff we try not to sensationalize or put a big ol’ strobe light on, nonetheless, it exists.  There are times when she is called upon to be a witness.  She can’t intercede or stop a harrowing murder, all she can do is be there for the person before, during and after they cross over, and all without condemning or even judging the murderer.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t.  I’m simply not evolved enough for that.  Sometimes she experiences the death along with them-the physical sensations, the thoughts in their heads, their life long memories.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t. I’m simply not strong enough for that. Sometimes she watches children die, and she has to accept that it was meant to go down this way, for a greater good that only our higher selves knows or understands.

Could you do that?

I couldn’t, and keep my sanity anyway.  Monica admitted that she tinkered on the brink before coming to terms with what was required of her so I say this with the utmost of compassion. Be careful what you wish for.  It’s not all a joy ride out there in the slipstream of consciousness.

But then again, sometimes, it is.

Namaste, Nicole

Submitted on 2009/10/01 at 9:30am

Why does it seem like some people hang around in infra red for so long before transiting to the light?

Cetah Johnson

Popular question, thank you Cetah

For people new to the term ‘Infra Red’ , It’s the frequency spirits inhabit. I usually refer to it as the  ‘Pink Plane’, as that’s my colour of experience.  See reply to Veronica in “Why some spirits choose to stay here?“ for my answer.

Sincerely, the Fringe Dweller

Submitted on 2009/09/29 at 10:02 am

Hi!

I heard you on Darkness Radio last Sunday night. It was very encouraging since I’m a natural medium and I feel so isolated because I live deep in the heart of the bible belt.

My question is: if no one dies alone, why do some spirits chose to stay here?

I have helped a few cross over, but not in the dream state. I keep wondering WHY. I hear that they have unfinished business, and I have felt that emotional state coming from some stuck spirits myself. I sometimes think that the power of emotion is greater than the power of thought and that perhaps, some of them are in some way mentally ill and unable to logically understand what’s happening.

What do you think?

Sincerely,

Veronica Smith, Tyler, Texas

Hi Veronica,

No one dies alone.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn was to let go of what capacity I show up to ‘help’ a person or spirit. We all have different gifts, and we all help each other in the ways we can. There are times I’m there to assist people during a time of crisis, just before they actually pass …and then immediately upon passing, my part is done…because they continue on, either on their own because they’re ready, or with the help of another ‘Fringe Dweller’ who’s waiting on the other side. Sometimes I’m the one on the other side, and I’ve connected with a spirit who’s vibrating at a state of confusion, chaos, and I’m there to love unconditionally without judgment, and calm them down with understanding and comfort.

Some spirits simply choose to stay. Death is a unique experience. Their emotional state at the time of their passing vibrates at a particular frequency. If that doesn’t change, they aren’t ready to  go to the light and there can be a variety of reasons.

Religious upbringing and certain beliefs can influence someone’s emotions.

Some are ready to cross over right away, while others need to be led to the light. Some go into a state of anger or regret that they’re not ready to let go of. There are lost souls who find me, because they are still in a state of confusion and they don’t know they’ve passed. I’ve had visits from spirits, who try to communicate the best way they can, sometimes in a clumsy manner because they’re still trying to communicate the way they would if they were still alive…so it takes them a while to realize that people aren’t responding the way they used to. However once they are acknowledged, they’re ready to cross over.

Some spirits  who have passed as the result of an accident, or tragedy, are not ready to go to the light without finding the family members who  passed at the same time. They’ll come to me and ask for help. As soon as I find and reunite them, they cross over together.

Sometimes spirits are in such an emotional state, they don’t initially recognize a Fringe Dweller is there to offer help.

Based on your comments regarding the power of emotions, I’d like to suggest Eckhart Tolle’s latest book   A New Earth…I think you’ll find it helpful, as he speaks in depth how emotions function and influence.

Sincerely , The Fringe Dweller

Submitted on  2009/09/28 at 4:25pm

I lost my baby daughter before birth 14 years ago…..what are possible reasons as to why i don’t feel/sense her around me? (other than her doing things in the afterlife) she contacted me maybe 3 times, then nothing in the years since. i have never seen her spirit, even. thanks!

Kim

Hi Kim,

I can’t say specifically the reason you haven’t sensed her in years, however I can offer possibilities. When spirits cross over, time is irrelevant…years to us could seem like minutes to them. They also know that they will be reunited with their loved ones on the other side, therefore there is no urgency to frequently check in. They may choose to reincarnate for another earthly experience.

I also have lost a child before birth, and one of the condolences I take from that experience, is knowing I had a ‘soul agreement’ with this spirit, that this would be part of my journey, my experience. Although I felt sorrow, I also know that they were greeted on the other side with love.

Many people don’t remember their dreams upon waking, and are unaware of any astral visits…take comfort knowing they exist.

Sincerely, The Fringe Dweller

acrylic on canvas = 5.5′h x 3.5′w

LOVE’S LIGHT

Dream Journal entry:

Monday, August 9 2004

I am in the matrix. For me to be here means a lost soul is ready to go home.

I have a vague corporeal structure—my ethereal body—with just enough form to appear human. I’m holding the hand of the person I’m leading. In the darkness that surrounds us, we head toward the cone of brilliant light that is ahead. As we draw closer the light intensifies, becoming brighter than any sun that human eyes have seen, yet its brilliance does not spill out of its own form to light the space around it. The light is held within itself, waiting for the return of the spirit that approaches, waiting to bring the spirit home.

We feel the ineffable love that radiates from the cone of light—an overwhelming sense of peace, calm, wonder, compassion and wellness. The unutterable joy increases as we come yet closer, and all fear or hesitation is forgotten in its ecstatic expression.

My being opens in wonder and innocence. I am free to be as vulnerable as a newborn, without fear of judgment. Waves of ecstasy wash through me and back again to the light from which they came in an exchange of pure and all-consuming love. In a fraction of a moment I know what it means to be at one with something. I am filled with a sense of connection to everyone and everything—the Source of all that is.

I stop at the light’s edge still holding the hand of the soul that I have led here, and gently release him into the blissful light. My hand grazes the luminosity and I am pierced to every quarter of my being with the unconditional, absolute sense of infinitelove that is the light.

Although I yearn to drift into the light along with the person I brought here, I know that that is not my purpose in coming, nor is it my time. I gently let go of his hand as I feel his essence begin to rise, watching in awe as he disappears into the apex of the cone before finally vanishing into the intensity of love’s light.

He has gone Home and I am breathless with the gratitude of having come here, and the memory of my communion with eternal, limitless, infinite love.

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